Saturday, July 19, 2008

This is who I AM...

As a beautiful and ever developing woman , I have the whole world at my reach.
Knowing exactly who I am !
Some people say I am a wanderer, others a bohemian gypsy, or a hippie but I like to refer to myself as Out of this World! Literally out of mind....(Vivi does not live there anymore...)
"Center, center". Yes this is where you can find me, centered and favorite place!
I have learned so many things throughout my life. I have lived in 3 continents and seen the splendor of life and the wonders of the human heart. What makes us all so unique but at the same time so alike? I have come to realize this thru the many years of soul searching and have found this, life is a journey where each turn you take brings you a surprise, which as in the pages of a book bring you face to face with your present moment.
With that said, I shall try to convey what "The moment" has brought into my life, oh this is so much fun!! A blog to write to my hearts content!!!
First of all... after having been married for nearly twenty years and gone thru a divorce I was brought face to face with a very simple fact I had not yet discovered ..had it not been if this life changing event had not occured . We are all born into this world without attachments (other than our mothers and fathers of course ) I discovered that, after the ties of married life were severed, then went on a personal journey to find out who this woman was : " THE SO CALLED MOTHER , WIFE, LOVER, FRIEND " . This journey has been amazing, for once I embarked on this adventure I was astounded at my findings, the inner child lurking inside had always been there, that sweet little girl waiting to be rescued had been waiting all along.
I can honestly say that I have rescued her, and have found that she is much more than I ever imagined she would be!! I once thought that happiness was being in a family, or being married, not a state of mind, thinking that I had to belong to something or someone, to ever truly be happy . This realization has brought a freedom never before imagined!!
I do not need anything, nor a ''special relationship for my happiness, nor for anything to make me happy'' for my happiness derives from within me, it is a choice I make and I am happy because I choose this state of mind. I like and love the feeling of happiness , giving it to myself and sharing my happiness with others. Like many people I used to think that my personal happiness revolved around ''a man'' that without this man I could not be happy . My identity was lost for many years until I truly saw me, and discovered that it is all about me, not in a selfish way but in a way where my concerns are valid and where I find balance in all I do . Here is where I like to implement wisdom in my life, for without it life makes no sense.
The old adage : ''To thine own self be true" has spoken volumes to my heart, and I am first true to myself in all manners , my happiness belongs to me, therefore I am fully responsible for having it and I am fully conciencious of my choices and what I choose for my happiness.
Have found that people enhance our lives, as we enhance theirs, no one can make you or me anything, happiness is a choice, and is my number one top priority.
Since having gone thru a metamorphosis of the mind, many amazing things have occurred to me, I no longer see life as I did ten years ago. I love who I am, I really am no longer affected by peoples ideas or assumptions of me. I am in a very comfortable place, where the discoveries I have made have had a great impact on my life, can actually admit that my life has made a great turn, for the better. Besides all of the many blessings, one that has made a pivotal change is my first grandchild Isabella. Wow!! When God was spreading out cuteness, she must have been first in the line, and then she must have squeezed in between the lines to get some more, I am kind of bias of course!!!
This little angel with the red hair, is exactly that, a little red haired angel, she is a bundle of joy and has a keen intelligence that is demonstrated in all of her actions.
I love to come as often as I can to be with her and her little family, she calls me ''mormor'' mothers mother in danish , or in other words grandmother, and she has done so since she was about eight months. She knows me, we know each other and have developed a close relationship that will endure forever, we play and laugh, she brings out the child in me.


Lover of Sweets said...

Hooray! I LOVE what you said about being responsible for one's own happiness and such. I am so happy that you are at this comfy place in your life and progressing all the time...always learning. I love you so much Vivi and I am so blessed to have you as my well-balanced sister who I can always talk to.

Perla said...

That is SO awesome, Vivi! I am so so SO happy that you have come to love yourself for the beautiful woman that you are!